This month I was happy to be included on the new Shift and Signal podcast where I had the opportunity to talk about The Five Stages of Masculinity. The podcast, produced by Alex Lockwood, is part of a project that seeks to “SHIFT us beyond stuck conversations about how we implement change, with a focus on identity psychology and obstacles to change under the threat of crisis, and then to SIGNAL towards responses and better ways of living that are already appearing.” This is an excellent way of describing the thinking I have around masculinity.
In the interview with Alex we discussed the challenges facing men and gender politics. It was a difficult conversation in places because I was compelled to articulate the problems I have with feminism. I am very uncomfortable critiquing feminism because I absolutely support its goals of gender equality and in no way deny that we live in a patriarchal society. So to then embark upon a “but…” feels like a betrayal of feminism and to work against its goals. But … for me feminism is not enough. I want more: more empathy with men, more nuance, more solutions. I want us to see that we do not so much have a crisis of masculinity, rather a crisis of imagination. However, I have no interest in telling feminists that they should do feminism differently or better: This is why I assign feminism to Stage 3 and open up a different space in Stage 4. Stage 4 does not work against Stage 3, it works in addition to Stage 3.
From time to time I receive a complaint that I should just stop talking because everyone has heard enough from men: we’ve had our turn. Of course, men need to listen more, but I find it deeply troubling that anyone believes the solution to our crisis of imagination is for people to stop talking. So, sorry, but not sorry: I will keep on articulating what I believe to be a way forward that builds upon and expands feminist goals, but is not necessarily contained by them. I will continue to promote Stage 4.
And I feel confident that you also want more of Stage 4. When I read the MailChimp reader statistics for these monthly news roundups I see a disproportionate amount of clicks on the Stage 4 and 5 articles relative to the other stages, so I know this is what you want to read about. Unfortunately, at the moment we mostly live in a Stage 1-2 world with a Stage 3 media, hence the disappointing spread of articles you see below. (A quick reminder about how these articles are selected. The aim is to list articles that shed some relatively new light on masculinity: this is why I do not list the frequently-occurring articles about toxic masculinity, Trump, Weinstein and the like; multiple examples of these can be found in the Stage 3 article archive).
Newsletter Reader Profiles
Last month I started a series of profiles of people who subscribe to The Five Stages of Masculinity Monthly News Roundup. Let’s continue.
German A. Villegas. Five years ago, German started his work on mental health and youth work, specifically working with boys. That led him on a journey to discover the systemic causes of most of boys’ problems. His work expanded to include men who perpetrated violence and men who volunteer to get therapy. The combination of his research, his passion to help men and boys, and his love of podcasts birthed Modern Manhood, a podcast in which men can learn to critique and question ideas of masculinity, and to explore their identity. Modern Manhood is a podcast to explore those ideas in an empathetic and inclusive nature, and allows guests to express their vulnerability which can be shared with anyone who wants to listen. It is part of the Alberta Podcast Network in Edmonton, Canada, but has featured guests from the UK, France, Australia, and the USA who have taken part in this worldwide conversation of “what it is to be a man.” For more information visit: https://modernmanhood.org
Joseph Losi. Joseph, a resident of Seattle, WA, comes to work in men and masculinity via 15 years of involvement in the ManKind Project, MKPUSA. He is a Marriage and Family Therapist who is a fully certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) working with couples, men and women. As the Grant Lead for MKPUSA, Joseph is currently involved in the planning and funding search of a longitudinal study of male social behavior pre and post MKP’s core training curricula, the New Warrior Training Adventure. Adjunct to his private practice, Joseph is a co-facilitator of Hold Me Tight Seattle, a couple’s workshop based on EFT principals. One of Joseph’s recent psychotherapy clients wrote, “fearless, gentle, insistent, and nobody’s fool. That’s Joseph.” With his wife, Denise Rhiner, a strategic communication specialist for non-profits, he works daily on the principal that helping men become more emotionally accessible, responsive and emotionally engaged has the potential of fundamental change across all relational domains. For more information visit: http://www.josephlosi.com
Are you my Business Development Manager?
I’m looking to partner with one or more people who could act as part-time Business Development Managers responsible for recruiting candidates for Certification in The Five Stages of Masculinity. Remuneration is on a commission-only basis: in effect, you would be self-employed/freelance.
Getting straight to the bottom line, the commission rate is 20%: in other words, you would receive $200 for each person who signs up to Certification in The Five Stages of Masculinity (or 20% of whatever group or individual discounts you might negotiate). The role would be performed remotely from anywhere in the world and is best seen as a side gig that complements other activities.
The main requirements for the role are:
- an interest in The Five Stages of Masculinity (given you’re reading this newsletter, this box is already ticked)
- some experience in sales, stakeholder relations or customer service
- the ability to generate leads and a sales funnel (I would strategize this with you)
- the ability to record your activities in a CRM (I use Zoho CRM, but at the basic level I use it, all CRMs are the same and easy to use).
If you’re interested in exploring this further, send me an email with a short description of who you are and your experience relating to the above points.